Then the alcoholism developed and stayed for quite a few years until it was time to end this nasty addiction. I "learned" how to drink for the guts it gave me from the negative childhood I had. And after almost dying in a detox from alcohol withdrawals and finally asking God for help has made all the difference. This was when I hit bottom. But its interesting how far and how long I waited until asking for help.
Though He has been my recovery from it since and I now consider myself recovered from alcoholism because it doesn't exist in my brain anymore because He had taken the place of it. I had given it up to Him almost 15 years ago, and there it will stay.
So for the following years since the last drink day which was 10/29/1994, I had learned to grow away from it through His Grace and His Holy Word. There is no other way to recover from alcoholism. I had also learned to like and respect myself more.
And about 8 or 9 years after, I developed the symptoms of a condition I had been born with, and had no idea about previously. I had been feeling rather ill with lots of everyday malaise and nausea. I finally went to a doctor for help where a very low testosterone level was found at 86, from a usual range between 300 and 1000.
So off to an endocrinologist I went where he did a blood test called a karyotype and found I had been born with Klinefelter Syndrome 47,XXY. I had never heard of this previously and found its actually being born with another X chromosome. The usual male is XY and the usual female is XX. So I'm right in between.
And since then, I had to be placed on testosterone replacements which have been the most difficult type of medication I ever had to deal with and get used to, especially since the last two endocrinologist believed that lots of testosterone will be a great benefit. However, they never understanding that my testosterone levels were never way up there, getting used to a large amount has offered many ill side effects. And for the last 5 years, I had been dealing with all of them.
Recently, the good and friendly, and informative endocrinologist I now have has gotten me back to where I feel the most normal for myself and having me use a smaller amount of testosterone.
But looking back, and after the alcohol addiction, things began to gradually get me back on track....until the condition appeared out of nowhere and the testosterone ifs, ands, and buts came along. Today, I'm finally getting to experience the real me for a change and hoping I can just go along now, without wondering, "What's next?"
There are those who seem to give up when confronted with too much on their plate. I seem to have quite a bit of drive in me to find the best way to get me to feeling even a little better. I'll never be like I used to be when things were going well. But things can still go well, even though I'm not doing as well as I had been. Its all about being in the right frame of mind and the only way to find that is through God, and then living in God through His Word!
